Dad Jokes 120 Best Dad Puns For Kids That Will Have The Entire Family Laughing

Dad Jokes For Kids

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because outstanding in his field."

• "I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know."
• "It takes guts to be an organ donor."
• "If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?"
• "I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!"
• "I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it."
• "I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
• "A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest."
• "You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg."
• "When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called beef?"
• "I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know..."
• "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."
• "I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless."
• "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"
• "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
• "Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize."
• "I've got a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it."
• "I used to hate facial hair...but then it grew on me."
• "I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!"
• "I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since."
• "You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine."

Best Dad Jokes For Kids

"What's a robot's favorite snack? Computer Chips."

• "How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!"
• "Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
• "What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream."
• "Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants."
• "I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy."
• "Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island."
• "What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging."
• "What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam."
• "Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends."
• "If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you?" "An iWitness."
• "Where do math teachers go on vacation?" "Times Square."
• "Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers."
• "What does garlic do when it gets hot?" "It takes its cloves off."
• "What's a robot's favorite snack?" "Computer chips."
• "How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?" "Nothing, it's in the house."
• "Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas."
• "What do clouds wear?" "Thunderwear."
• "Why are piggy banks so wise?" "They're filled with common cents."
• "Why is Peter Pan always flying?" "He never lands."
• "How do you get a good price on a sled?" "You have toboggan."

Brain Teaser: Find the Odd One in 10 Seconds

How to Hide Your Location on Snapchat? How to Turn Off Your Snapchat Location?

Optical Illusion: Can You Try to Find the Hidden Number in 10 Seconds?

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Corny Dad Jokes For Kids

"How did harry potter get down the hill? Walking. JK! Rowling."

• "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me."
• "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."
• "What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?" "Yellow!"
• "This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."
• "What kind of car does an egg drive?" "A yolkswagen."
• "What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."
• "Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
• "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."
• "What did one hat say to the other?" "Stay here! I'm going on ahead."
• "Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones."
• "What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese."
• "My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line."
• "What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!"
• "How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together."
• "How did Harry Potter get down the hill?" "Walking. JK! Rowling."
• "What do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "A satisfactory."
• "Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems."
• "What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!"
• "Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet."
• "What did the ocean say to the beach?" "Nothing, it just waved."

Funny Dad Jokes For Kids

"What did the skeleton order with its beer? A Mop"

"A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!"

"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!"

"Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe."

"What do Bostonians call a fake noodle? An impasta."

"A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper."

"A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”"

"A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”"

"A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”"

"A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”"

"Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escaped from the zoo? It was otter chaos."

"Why do nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood."

"How much do I love crunchy tacos? From my head tomatoes."

"What kind of spells do leprechauns use? Lucky Charms."

"Did you hear the one about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? It was a knot-for-profit."

"My kid wants to invent a pencil with an eraser on each end, but I just don’t see the point."

"Teacher: “There are two words I don’t allow in my class. One is gross, and the other is cool.” Johnny: “So, what are the words?”"

"Why should you never mention the number 288? It’s two gross."

"I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house, but the kids still get in."

Bad Dad Jokes For Kids

"I had a date last night. It was perfect. Tomorrow, I'll try a grape"

"What’s brown and sticky? A stick."

"My dog accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles. I think this could spell disaster."

"I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

"I had a date last night. It was perfect. Tomorrow, I’ll try a grape."

"Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them."

"What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Does this taste funny to you?"

"Do I enjoy making courthouse puns? Guilty."

"What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

"You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine."

"In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him."

"My girlfriend says it’s either her or my career as a news reporter. I have some breaking news for her."

"Inflation is really getting out of hand, but that’s just my five cents."

"I can guess what people do for a living just by looking at their hands. I mean, I’m usually wrong, but I can guess."

"I’ve been breeding racing deer. Just trying to make a quick buck."

"How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two: One to screw it in most of the way and another to give it a surprise twist at the end."

"I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes."

"I began to read a horror novel in braille. Something bad is about to happen—I can feel it."

"Why do pumpkins sit on porches? They have no hands to knock on the door."

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear."

"My IQ test results came back. They were negative."

Funny Dad Jokes For Kids

"Where do you learn all about ice cream? Sundae School."

"How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together."

"Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke? It'll crack up."

"What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field."

"What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? Sneakers!"

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web."

"What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!"

"What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid."

"What did the nose tell the finger? Stop picking on me!"

"Why can't your hand be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."

"Why is no one friends with Dracula? He's a pain in the neck."

"Where do you learn all about ice cream? Sundae school."

"What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A lamborghini."

"What key is used to open bananas? A mon-key."

"How do you talk to a giant? You use big words!"

"How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!"

"What kind of milk comes from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk."

"What's a sea monster's favorite lunch? Fish and ships."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator."

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