Funny Jokes - Best Funny Puns to Fill Your Life with Joy and Humor
by Suganya | Updated May 03, 2023
Funny Jokes
"What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's back say? Wheeeee!"
"I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it."
"What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato."
"I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet."
"Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Because every play has a cast."
"What does a pig put on dry skin? Oinkment."
"What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown."
"My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs."
"Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now."
"How do you open a banana? With a mon-key."
"Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch cold."
"What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me."
"Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel."
"My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down."
"What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop."
"Where does Batman go to the bathroom? The batroom."
"What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse."
"What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells."
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
"Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe."
"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta."
"How did the pig get to the hogspital? In a hambulance."
"I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!"
"Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall."
"What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam."
"Why did the cow jump over the moon? The farmer had cold hands."
"A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?""
"How does an octopus go into battle? Well-armed."
"What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller."
"What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? A cocker-poodle boo."
"How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans."
"What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? "Dill me in!""
"How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer."
"Where do young trees go to learn? Elementree school."
"Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb."
"How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? Totally shocked."
Very Funny Jokes For Kids
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? catch up!"
"What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A Maybe."
"Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7-8-9."
"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."
"I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist."
"What do you call a hippie's wife? Mississippi."
"Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a-salted."
"How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark."
"What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Bison."
"What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing."
"What's the stinkiest planet? Poopiter."
"What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner."
"Why don't sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny."
"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey."
"What's black and white and goes round and round? A penguin in the washing machine."
"How do you organize a space party? You planet."
"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."
"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it."
"Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake."
"What did one hat say to the other? You wait here, I'll go on ahead."
"What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks."
"I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me."
"What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick."
"What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk."
"How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card."
"Why don’t we see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it."
"What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One’s pretty heavy and the other’s a little lighter."
"Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head."
"I used to hate facial hair...but then it grew on me."
"A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie was everywhere."
"What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? Sneakers."
"What's the best smelling insect? A deodor-ant."
"What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear."
"Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine? He wanted his quarter back."
Best Funny Jokes For Friends
"Where does batman go to the bathroom? The Batroom."
"What did the horse say after it tripped? Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!"
"Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent"
"What do you call a well-balanced horse? Stable."
"What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie."
"Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank."
"How do you make an egg-roll? You push it!"
"What would bears be without bees? Ears."
"What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain."
"Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work."
"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired."
Best Funny Jokes For Kids
"A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?"
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
"I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first."
"Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball!"
"What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless."
"What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits."
"What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet."
"RIP, boiling water. You will be mist."
"Where was King David’s temple located? Beside his ear."
"What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed."
"What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match."
Comedy Funny Jokes for Kids
"What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner."
"What does corn say when it gets a compliment? Aw, shucks!"
"What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire."
"What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick."
"What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast."
"What has more lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every day."
"Why was the fish’s grades bad? They were below sea level."
"What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1."
"What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!"
"What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup."
"Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen? Because it’s pointless."
Birthday Funny Jokes For Kids
"Does a green candle burn longer than a pink one? No, they both burn shorter."
"What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday!"
"Why do candles always go on the top of cakes? Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom."
"What do cakes and baseball teams have in common? They both need a good batter."
"What goes up but never comes down? Your age."
"What does every birthday end with? The letter Y."
"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey."
"What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday? It’s roar birthday!"
"Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer? She wanted to ice it."
"Why did the cupcake go to the doctor’s office? It was feeling crumby."
"What one thing will you get every year on your birthday, guaranteed? A year older."
Animal Funny Jokes For Kids
"Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse."
"What kind of snake would you find on a car? A windshield viper!"
"Why are tigers terrible storytellers? Because they only have one tail."
"What kind of bird works at a construction site? A crane."
"What does a fish say after sharing a new idea? Let minnow what you think."
"What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? An investigator."
"Can a wallaby jump higher than a building? Of course … buildings can’t jump!"
"What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot."
"What did the pinniped think of our last joke? That’s the sealiest thing I’ve ever heard!"
"Why are snakes difficult to fool? You can’t pull their leg."
"Why don’t leopards play hide and seek? They’re always spotted."
Halloween Funny Jokes For Kids
"What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick."
"Why didn’t the skeleton go to school? His heart wasn’t in it."
"What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!"
"What kind of music do mummies love? Wrap music."
"How do ghosts wash their hair? With shamboo."
"What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling."
"What is a monster’s favorite dessert? I scream! (Thanks, Kaylen!)"
"What fruit do scarecrows love the most? Straw-berries."
"What does a witch use to do her hair? Scarespray!"
"What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist."
"What room does a ghost not need? A living room."
Thanksgiving Funny Jokes For Kids
"What’s a turkey’s favorite month?" "They don’t have one, but they prefer any other than November!"
"What sound does a turkey's phone make?" "Wing-wing-wing."
"What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?" "Quack, Quack!"
"Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?" "He sensed fowl play."
"What key has legs and can't open a door?" "A tur-key."
"Why did they let the turkey join the band?" "Because he had his own drumsticks."
"What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?" "He got the stuffing knocked out of him!"
"You know you overdid it at Thanksgiving when you thought the serving size for turkey was one."
"Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner?" "Because he will gobble it up."
"If you call a big turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one?" "A goblet."
"What do you call a running turkey?" "Fast food."
"What's blue and covered in feathers?" "A turkey holding its breath."
"What's the best song to play while cooking a turkey?" "All about that baste."
"Why did the turkey cross the road?" "He wanted people to think he was a chicken."
"Why was the turkey put in jail?" "The police suspected fowl play."
"How come the turkey didn't eat dinner?" "He was already stuffed."
"What did the turkey say to the computer?" "Google, google."
"What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost?" "A poultry-geist."
"What kind of weather does a turkey like?" "Fowl weather."
"What did the leftover turkey say?" “Make me a sandwich!”
Christmas Funny Jokes for Kids
"What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there's myrrh."
"What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there's myrrh."
"What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite."
"What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!"
"What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause."
"What do snowmen eat for dessert? Ice crispies."
"How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf."
"What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa's workshop? A rebel without a Claus!"
"What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!"
"What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown."
"Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence."
"Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much? She sleighs."
"What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer."
"What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer."
"What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station."
"What is Santa's dog's name? Santa Paws!"
"Where do Santa's reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!"
"What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!"
"What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t beat it!"
"What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is."
"What do Santa's elves learn in school? The elf-abet."
"What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph."
"What do grapes sing at Christmas? 'Tis the season to be jelly."
"What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel."
"What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!"
"What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Crispies."
"Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed."
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Funny Jokes - FAQs
Jokes are a complete package of laughter in terms of words and sentences.
- What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's back say? Wheeeee!
- I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
- I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.